Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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