Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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