I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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