The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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