you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
