Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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