i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
