that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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