Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
