piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
