you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Someone signed my nipple.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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