Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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