God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
