So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
