Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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