bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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