worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize