Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
