I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
