i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
