my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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