When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize