We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
