Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
the liver wants what the liver wants
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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