Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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