we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
