Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
