We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
