dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize