Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
