I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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