ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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