i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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