It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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