why do cheetos always look like penises
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
