i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
