marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
