Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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