Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My friends, they love my intelligence
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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