goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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