Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
