this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize