Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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