You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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