Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
