I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
