Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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