But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
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I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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