Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
