I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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