laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
