STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
