Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
