I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
