I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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