What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
