Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize