She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
