Nicole vs. Life
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
wow bdsm is so cute
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
