Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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